i never regret,
what happened between us ;

yesterday went wildwildwet with menghwee , pk , joreen , vivien and johann :D
at first , meet johann first go ttogether mahs . siao one .
say meet at 12pm at pasir ris . he 11.10am go inside the lan shop in clementi -_-
i see him sit at thr ofcoarse i bth go open another computer lahs ._.
chiong my maple :D going lv50 le !!!!! 82% . walou eh . ytd die when im 87%
no mood le lahs !
hmph . kk then we play until vivien keep calling then go .
wait for the mrt damn long . stupid johann lahs , the day before still say until so nice what christmas present . dhen in the end forget to bring =.= LOL .


anw , until wild wild wet le . very fun !!!! but stupid lahs , we cannot find the float place
all the thing all swim . i too long nvr swim le . cannot move . somemore i wear long sleeve and pants . LOL scare sun ah , but ytd was not too sunny . gd !
but at the purple slide , stupid sai , the life guard make me take off shirt ! cos slide cannot wear .
not fair ! i so fat can TT inside wearing bikini , all see i so fat le lahs !
then in the slide stupid leh , my pants cannot slide ! then i kust keep pushing , nt fun at all one =.= sian .


after like alm0st 5 le , i super hungry lahs ! somemore play until very tired le . so go eat .
woots ! mit amelia thr ! lols . i go then she come . stupid =.-
the chicken is super expensive =.= 3 chicken $7.20 lehs , siao .
then wan go back to white sand thr , stupid johan forget his present =.=
then after rainning ! then we go take bus lo .
after play arcade for 2hrs ? spend alot of money lehs ! 10 dollar ?


after that , johan and me go back clementi went lan abt 8.30++ until 10.15++ ,
after we go macdonald eat dinner . then go home le .
aiyous ! today i go out with 50dollar then nw left 4 dollar only lehs .. zzzzz

you are gone ,
im lost ;

today so happy <333333333
went to alot places with kors and friends :D :D :D
go vivo wait for vivien at first , then take many pic
after went cine , then separated , went with junhao or duno what is his name , my dog :D
to play lan , the lan super ex there , 1hr 3.70 lehs , siao !)(&$_@( . hahahas .
then walk walk buy many present and also gotten many :D so happy !
then jasmine and shuying came !!! so long nvr see them eh ! miss miss :D:D
hahahs , merry christmas !

i tot im going to have another boring year , but it turn out to be damn fun <3
we play until super crazy lo , cant wait for new year !!!!!!!!

and heres are some of the pics , cannot put all ah ;x so many !

if you dare , i will try

to love you forever ;

so boring ! duno wan holiday or not , haais .
anw , i tot he was going to japan today . but it became tmr somehow .
SO , i went to msg him bright in the morning saying my apologises ,
didnt ask for forgiviness , i just wish he have a happy week [:
but i end having one thanks for the pain reply . TT

actually i also dunno it is good or not , at least this time ,
is he angry with me , not i angry with him . so we wont patch anymore right ?
he is a good guy , i dont want him stay with me ;x hurhur .
23rd is NOT loved , our 3rd anniversary . ):

anw went orchad today , and bought another ring again .
because , i lost the other one again .
went home damn early , listen song all the way ba :D

next , i personally think those who put password in their blog is lame . (:
BECAUSE , what for create a blog when you put a password thr ?
what is so secret that i cant know ? lols .


wish i could have more luck for the future days (x
im really fuck up nowadays , hais .
BUT my laptop maple is back ! :D:D:D laggy gone ~ woots .

easier say then done ,
i know i've wrong ;

today is a bad day ? lols .
went xincheng house to get thumbdrive then went meet sandy .
then we go ps meet jonathan le .

it was quite boring actually , nothing to do .
the only thing i regreted was there is a 5 hrs 2x exp and im outside b, wtf . ):
and then we become all wet in the big rain . lols .
sandy gtg expo at 4pm but she came back at 6pm cos too many people .


so the bad thing was , i saw zon .
i was so surprise when i see him , i dunno what the fuck im doing , instead of going there to say hi , i ran away instead , and this was my mistake .
i promised him i would not go out with my fren and go out wif him today -.-
so , he of coarse saw me , and said im a liar and a bitch .
i didnt want to be a liar ... im not , really .
but im didnt blame him as well , anybody who saw the scene will think that way anyway .

actually im abit disappointed as well , cos i know . even if we didnt meet , he would not go out with me as well . he is going tto japan tmr already , i realli dunno what to do ):
msg him ? or just leave it ......
so troublesome -.-
sometimes , i really wish he could just understand me a little bit more TT

i have change ,

so have you ;

you say i have change . you want to know why ?
i changed is because my feeling for you have changed .

you say you dont like my hair right , if it is last time de me ,
i would go to the salon immediately and reborn my hair .
but now , the only thing i though of was now you like me or my hair ? dont like then dont like lo .

see , thats all i think abt . no more difficult thoughts occur (:

i know you love me more than last time already ,
but sometimes , what is gone is gone .


and now i think those people who slash their waist is stupid .
although im like that too last time . ;x
i saw this person in msn , she slash her waist and then write there ,
'' my hand is very pain ''

wtf .. very cool uh ? lols .
lame sai .

i can never hold you back ,
i know ;

HELLO ALL , im back in singapore <3 feel free to msg me ! hahahas ,
im so bored at home neh , my laptop have no maple . NO MAPLE . )@(%&@_^@(
but big computer have , always lag like mad . stupid stupid stupid .
hais , that xincheng pig say put inside thumbdrive come clementi give me .
inside thumbdrive nth de !!! asshole TT

wont be posting often now <3 busy mapling . wahahahs ;x

how am i going to stay strong ,
without you by my side ;

i am moody for the whole TWO days , ): sad .
so rare to see me moody ;x hais . duno what im thinking anyway .
btw i got a happy news ! :D

i sold my w580i for hk$300 . lols , better then nth . going to throw away anw :D
and i trade in my w850i for hk$1000 , pity the workers , my phone gt problem one , so they had to pay back the $1000 , wahahahs .
and then i bought myself a w910i for hk$2980 . im going to suffer from poorness really badly this mth ):
lucky grandma gave me $400 :D and i borrowed $1000 from daddy . sign*
please god , dun let my this phone inside the toilet bowl again TT rawrr !

know a new person ytd , duno what is his name . keep saying himself emo -.-ll
lols . so weird . and im back tmr ! :D :D :D
cant wait ~ all sms me welcome msg ;x hurhur .

loving you ,
is the biggest mistake i've made .

i finally break wif him le ..
i cant believe i can say that , my hands are shaking all the way .
and i blocked him already :D to stop myself from xinruan . alvin tell me to delete him oh O.o
but i still believe we can be gd frens :D
my feelings now are , between happiness and emptiness . Dunno how to say .
i felt more relax after the break , but in the other hand , there are something else besides that .
he said he nw dun like that girl le , it wont happen again , to give him chance .
i hesitated , but i know the result going to be same .
i realised what is my place in his heart ,
in the end i choose to break wif him . i gave him 2 chances , maybe we arent meant to be together [: i really believe that he can find a better one .

thanks fren for comforting and advising me , i ok liao , thankyou all <3
sorry boy , no more chance given . paid for the things you did .

4 more days [:

The feeling of dominance;
so much alike to ecstasy

today go shopping with daddy . bought many things again ;x
started to buy present too . hhaha . aiya , wanted to get a nose piercing today .
but then surprise that daddy say ugly dun let me pierce == , say if want pierce next month allowance -1000 . go die lahs , sua i go bak singapore then pierce :D

btw he unblock me le . lols , he care bahs ? hahas .
but i start to lose feeling le , too bad o ;x
sian sian sian ~



edited by joey aiai <3 love you !!!!

love is a big illusion ,
i should try to forget ;

today is 121207 .
i nice day , lols . bought many many things :D
went friend house , so bored ._. watch tv till 11++ then go home bahs .
felt much better already (:
thanks everyone for cheering me up , i am going fine in progress :D

@11.58pm , on the van , im thinking weather i should call him for stead , but in the end didnt xO
but i qt a feeling this is the right choice . hahahas , weird uh ?
dont know what im waiting for too , but definitely not what you are thinking . dun worry ;x
nvm lahs , find another nice date soon :D

btw im going to get a nose piercing the day after tmr :D woots !

always and forever ,
i see a gay between us ;

i see that im blogging alot lately :D
ahahas , nothing to do mahhs . you dont need to read it you know :x

anw , today went uncle's house :D
my uncle is only 22years old ;x hurhur .
hmmm , in my mind , i first time see him . but last time every year new year also see de ba ?
he is QUITE good looking , a LITTLE bit too short .
his back thr right below the neck there qot one around one hand big tattoo .
damn cool lehs , nt too big also nt too small .
better then those paikia put the whole tattoo infront . wahahahs .

wonder how i saw it ? when he first wake up and come out from the room half naked i saw lo .
wahahahas . cause he need to go work soon , but nt yet . so pei wo psp for while .
by his way of dressing , can see he is nt the 'study' kind . ;x

anw , the whole group of aunt , including my mother is tolding about things .
and my mother loves to talk abt my bad things .
here's a topic , parents always love to make things bigger .
she say i go sing k SECRETLY , and so he ask me you gt or nt ?
then i told him , nah . i go sing k with her knowing lo ... anyhow say me TT
lols .

&& i fall in love with 炸醬麵 ! :D



add-ons @ 8.35pm :
im moody . its so sad to know that someone you love so much is cheating behind your back .
you once tell me you are hurt because your ex put some other boy name on the msn thr ,
and you're sad . then why are you doing the same ?
hais . nvm lahs , i understand de (:

i know im right , cos i didnt pin too much hope on you (:
i will take it that you've break up wif me , no explanation needed .
last long long with her alrights ?
i wont give up giving up , i promise ;
i really hope that she can give you the love that i cant .
takecares <3

nobody appreciate anything ,
so dont try to change yourself for someone ;

ahhhhh , im so bored .
nobody wants to accompany me >< . which make me think to the 'wrong' things again ;x its just a random post (: dont read it , its long

thinking of the past , my happy family ! :D
daddy , mummy and me .
together to ocean park , living in the house , eating dinner together ; etc .
the real smile and laughter which i can never own again .
everything changed , in the year of 2001 .
did i made a very wrong choice ?
i just want to be a normal person .

here is a question , what is a normal person ?
a normal person cry when they are born .
a normal person have a complete family .
a normal person study in their own country .
a normal person work to earn money to support their family .
a normal person wants to be loved .
blah blah blah ..

im suppose to be a normal person too .
and , in the year of 2001 . this choice of mine father change something .
because of my amazing IQ (cough) , i qt this scholarship . Lols .
only mummy and i come to this deserted country without a single friend or relative .
oh ? human do survive when they are force to (:
ofcoarse , with cash .

This cause a little family breakdown .
small little me had lost fatherly love TT
looking outside the window at dinner and cry was my favourite thing to do everyday then .
After he come out , daddy changed alot .
And yes , people do change due to sudden solution .
p.s. im nt saying he treat me in a nt good :X
i once overheard , he say to my mother that 'if you dont give me , i dont give you this month's money .'
issit it pathetic ? haha .
everyone is pathetic , yes i am pathetic too .
people tend to stuff themselves with something that is nt true . To escape from the cruel truth .

愛? this world have mahs ?
you may ask me , then why do you have a BOYFRIEND ?
i also dont know , the only thing that im sure is , from him , I dont have what i want .
otherwise i wont be typing this yea ? :D
You've never been there when i need you .

some people might say , single is the best .
ohh , you might think so now . but deep down we all know thats not true .
there is this thing call loniness . therefore , nth is the best .
i know there are friendship . but friends , bros and sis will not hug you close to them and say 'baby , everything will be alright ,'

ofcoarse we all know that its not true , but at least for that specific moment . haha .

i always wonder why people tend to wish to get famous one day .
so what if you are famous ?
money ? so what happen you get whatever you want ?
after travel the whole world ? sleep in the coffin make of gold and notes one day ?
ask yourself , are you happy ? are you truely happy ?
Can someone please define what is happiness ?

Okays , end of telling story time ,
goodnite readers :D

my worst nightmare ,
is knowing you ;

i just realised trying to be a nice person is so hard .
when im trying to be NICE , i'll just end up calling a 'bitch' .

Yes , bitch is all i am . thankyou .
Anything happen to your dont even bother to tell me , cause im going to be a busybody and spill out everywhere .
find that person come beat me again if you want . i promise i wont find support or need anyone to 'help' me , rather just die thr then watch your faces .

just take it that i 'beg' you ,
im already depress over many things recently .
me here APOLOGISE that if i had cause unknowing troubles ,
i wont bother you anymore , so stop bothering me too .

embrace me one last time ;
im waiting for you .

thanks for everyone that support me :D
i've make up my mind . thanks to yumiko dardar's advise !
she told me , love a person doesnt nid to own them .
so i decided that i would talk to him , like really really talk to him .
and this time , i wont get infected by his sweet words (:
if there's really a need , i would break wif him .

actions speak louder then words , so i'll show your whats the result :D
wish me luck , bye♥

in me ,
there's this irrestable for you ;

im confused .
i dont know what to do .
asked many many advise from kor and aiai ,
but still wont work !!
i still love him . thats the turth TT
then ytd ke siao say swt swt thing make me xin dong again ..
shld i just leave it hanging ?

hais . lets dun tok abt these lah (:
ytd i give the phone to daddy for repairance . he is nt as angry as i expect :D
hahaas , then the fishing is horrible ! go thr nt even half an hour go le .
no patient mahs ;x hurhur .

i love aiai ♥ thanks fer your post for comforting mie xD hahaas .
8 more days (:

i know my love is somewhr ,
appear soon im expecting you ;

im going fishing tmr ! so excited (;
wahahs , but ! im so scare too , tmr going to see daddy
how am i going to tell him my phone which just bought for 2 wks drop inside the toilet bowl AGAIN ? omgomgomg TT sobbs .

i am having nightmares abt the phone & someone ._.
i really really miss him .
hais . im so bored , there's nth to play .

But im happy :D
cos i qt a job ! woots , but can only start in june (;
thanks to joel ~ (:
and he's getting me a free marbolo methol ._.
anyone want to buy texas ? Can get for a much cheaper price :D


11days more (: