i wake up from my nightmare ,
and found that you are not mine anymore ;

alright , today was a good/bad day . hais , how to say ..
went orchad wif mummy at noon , dhen meet menghwee , vivien, pingkwang , jiayi , jc , alvin they all xD hahas ,
and i know a new friend today ! hoho , her name is tuutuu (nick name , she dislike her rl name)
yup , she is jiancheng 's stead to be . hahas ! dunno they stead already or nt lehhs ~
anw , went cini take neos , blahblah . dhen after vivien want meet her kor so we went ps .
hais , i knew that dear will be thr , zzzzzzzz . thats the worst part of the day .

at first they all went punk thr , then didnt see him . gooood . then me and tuutuu sit outside zone thr wait fer them lo , then this boy horh , keep walking up the stair then down the stair then up again , at least 4 times lehs . i didnt really bother to notice him at first , until tuutuu tell mie , that guy had been eyeing you . LOLS ! dhen i say ok ...
dhen omg , after the fifth time , he stop beside me and say , lets make friend , dhen giv me his phone . lols ! dhen i was like whatever lahs , giv jiu giv lo ;x
he sms-ing mie now xD , hahas his name is jason .

THEN , the worst part of the day , just when we are ABT to go , dear came wif his frens .....
zzzzzzzzz omg . i was sitting beside pk kor , then saw his figure , dhen i was lik OMG MY STEAD .
dhen alvin they all keep asking whr whr whr ? then ask me go call him ....
i dunno wht to do TT sobbs , dhen alvin go in and say pull him out .
i was super dulan ok . pull him out = i tell ppl to pull him out , he will b super angry at me lo ..
but in the end they didnt pull ^^
dhen everyone ask mie he is your stead leh , why are you so scare ? why didnt you just go say hi ? i dunno dunno really dunno ... so confusing i dunno wtf is wrong wif mie .. hais . i cant ans all their questions .. why am i so scare ? that he will giv me face again ? or what ? he wont lik it ? what is it ..

then went eat ba .. my mood drop all the way to 0 . dunwan to eat le lahs ..
dhen alvin say he wan leave first , dhen i also leave lo ..
after walk past again , i decided to say at least hi to him ba ..
but i knew he would giv me that face lik last time .. haiss .
and , lik expect , he did giv me the face = = just fling his arms to say hi . wtf .
dhen alvin is lik what a stead -.- so i go liao lo .
DHEN wtf lahs , so down le , still see caocao and his stead! walou , nwadays de ppl realli damn fuck de lo .
i wave at him , he was lik force a SUPER SMALL smile at me . _l_
suan le lo .

dhen take mrt , i cry and cry =.= tears keep flowing , i cant control it .
i dunwan spoil mye eyeliner lo , but it seriously keep coming out TT
the stupid group of ppl keep looking at me , look what look , nvr see ppl cry b4 is it ?
i keep thinking , why cant i keep him loving me ?
is break the only way ? i really dunwan to break .. i will be really hurt if break .. but if we continue like this , i will be very sad as well . yes , we are ''together'' , but i know deep down we are nt already . if i break wif you , wo bu she de .. ):
you said when im sad you would bite me , im sad nw , whr are you ? why didnt you bite me ? i want you to bite me .. last time you tell mie you love me 102% , but i think nw only left the most 30% ba ... is thr anyway that i can make you love me more again ? can you tell me how ?

i asked alvin shld i break wif him or nt .. but he say wait for 1 wk see how first ba .. shld i wait ??
i really dunwan to break wif you , can you break wif me instead ? i will feel better if thats the case ..
sometimes i really wonder why ppl stead i stead , why my stead liddat one ..
i really want to love you ):

the turth is tearing mie apart ,
why am i still holding bak mye tears ?
in this loniness thrs nth to fear .